Using you

8 Jan

Not sure my blog is of the type to be popular, even given the chance. Too much soul baring? Is that it? 😀 Just for the record, though, whenever I tell a story about myself it is, in some measure, meant for confession or to share secrets (comes from being in the habit of sleep-overs when you were a little girl…) or to bless someone else who is in the same boat. I don’t know about you but when I read of someone else’s story, I learn and am blessed and humbled by a God who sees. It is never meant to be pompous or – dare I say it? – too full of myself.

So homies – holler up if anyone, at any time, thinks I’m in danger of that – okay? Glad that’s out there now! 😉

Before 2008, I had people automatically come to me and talk to me without knowing me very well. And I would listen, you know. Since then, it’s been a while and of course I have people I trust and who trust me back but no… random conversations from strangers who, erm, trust me.

In case that sounds creepy to you, let me explain before y’all get your ‘stalker’ labels on me ;)))

A story might suffice! One day I visited this church and checked out the Alpha Course. I’d enjoyed Nicky Gumbels’ presentation skills and his fairness in presenting Christianity. This church followed a drinks-DVD-dinner-discussion format. After all the alliteration, of course, I headed over to the books sold and given away on a table to the side. There were two others there and one of them smiled tentatively at me, as I did at her. She then told me she was looking for a Bible and I made some remark off-hand about some of the versions I liked on that table, and then scrambled for something more neutral so I didn’t fulfil my paranoia of pushiness and talked about a storybook that might make interesting reading. Ugh, awkward Writeroo moment.

Right? But I actually hadn’t managed to kill the conversation. That was never my intent but I wouldn’t have blamed her if I had! Instead, Guo Wei told me she was not used to all this, that she was new to it but she thought she would like to know more about the Bible. And we ended up going to my student room at 10:30 on a Friday night and talking over a shared last slice of toffee cheesecake on the one plate I possessed back then. We talked until 1 am. She told me about a boy, who put God before her. And about the things she didn’t understand and about forgetting him, but still wanting to seek Jesus. And about her scholarship and a whole host of things.

You don’t get used to that sort of thing. But you sure hope with all you’ve got that you will be used in that sorta thing.

But the next time you’re standing somewhere and having that awkward conversation and wondering what on earth it’s about, think again. And the next time, don’t try to end it. Smile at the stranger or – be a complete blubbering idiot as I was wont to be but – just be there. Don’t let it be too late or too early or too weird or too uncomfortable or too much.

You are not standing or sitting where you are right now, you are not looking at this screen right now, you are not reading my words right now without a Purpose. Every good thing you ever do, you were made to do before you were born, in advance.

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