Afraid?

23 Nov

I am wondering why Christian people find it hard to ask questions, to allow questions, to like questions. Think about it…

Do you sense that warm, fuzzy, religious ‘I know something you don’t’ feeling when someone questions you? Do you have a feeling of rightness that makes you feel different from ‘them’? How many people have you had a sincere conversation with and allowed yourself to say there were uncertainties? I think that might be the only time I really show the picture that my faith paints. It is real, it throbs with pain and joy, and it’s a moving, morphing relationship. This thing I have going with Jesus.

It’s pretty immense. Trite will never fit it.

I’ve usually only cried and prayed with people I’ve been honest with and shared the answers I know and don’t know. And even that has been rare. On the other hand, those times when I whip out my computer and reference verses and chapters and prove a point – I’ve been left feeling a little dry.

I’m wondering why we’re suspicious of questions and arguments if we are certain that the word of the Lord is like gold, silver tested in a furnace. If we’re sure that the God we serve is real, then questions are okay. Pssst – it’s even okay to have breakthroughs in science, in genetics and cell biology. Because God is outside of this moment when you – your single, individual self – is feeling challenged. This God I know is actually big enough to accommodate the questions, to not be afraid of letting people challenge him.

It’s  a natural human reaction to flinch at being challenged – but since when has God asked us to stick to the natural, human…?

Jesus, in fact, celebrated questions. Who do you say I am…? Do you still not believe? Do you love me?

Sometimes I feel like I mollycoddle God. I am afraid that someone who screams out for proof is blaspheming. Or am I afraid that proof may not come? And then am I afraid for all I stand for? If my God is not wiser than my assumptions, then he isn’t who he is, by definition.

I don’t know. Today I’m just letting y’all know and reminding myself (mainly) that my faith is in this one person, this God, this eternal, immortal, all-wise, visible God.

In the end, he will reign. In the end, his word shall remain.

Feel free to test that. And when I feel threatened by it, remind me of whom I have believed in.

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