Journal entry

4 Aug

I’m incredibly, overwhelmingly grateful to be where I am.

I walked through the Bodleian’s links underground yesterday and just felt overwhelmed by how good God has been. I remembered the things that happened two years ago that made me doubt I’d ever be back. I put it in the distant future – yeah, maybe some day I’ll be back. I think in hazy some-days about many things.

Some day I can afford a family. Some day I can be doing the work I love to do, and be serving together. Some day my parents can have a holiday.

But then God brings my some-days into eternity and suddenly they’re here and now. Like being so so so grateful I’m in the education department. My supervisor likes my work and tells me I’m hard on myself – really? I’m not, but really?! I am considering publishing it. When did that happen?!

I’m still stressed about my thesis because I want it to be decent at least! And I’m praying because primarily, I want it to honour God. Incredibly, impactingly honouring – I want it to be that and it almost seems arrogant. And yet, I want to try my hardest to give him that because I can’t imagine how I got to this place without him.

I’m not being superficially modest. I might have imagined being in this place a few years ago – not without God, but less aware of total dependence. I cannot now.

You think that’s why he waited till Abraham was *ahem* slightly incapable *ahem* and then worked his awesomeness?

So grateful. So emotional. So overwhelmed and still so scared right now. This God is so heart-stoppingly wonderful and I’m so unbelievably foolish to forget every now and then.

So please excuse the publicisation of what ought to be a journal entry today 😉 – you’ve had it for a while now!

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4 Responses to “Journal entry”

  1. Josh Ingram August 5, 2012 at 4:01 am #

    I can totally relate to your “hazy somedays” coming around into the now. Case in point: I’ve been wanting to run for twi-and-a-half years but because of work obligations couldn’t (it’d just be too much). God changed up my circumstances in a seismic way recently. So I bought a real nice pair of shoes and now I run! So cool! God bless you.

  2. Josh Ingram August 5, 2012 at 4:02 am #

    I can totally relate to your “hazy somedays” coming around into the now. Case in point: I’ve been wanting to run for two-and-a-half years but because of work obligations couldn’t (it’d just be too much). God changed up my circumstances in a seismic way recently. So I bought a real nice pair of shoes and now I run! So cool! God bless you.

    • writeroo August 10, 2012 at 12:24 pm #

      Hey Josh! Sounds like a bit of a wake-up call… Are you enjoying the running? Perhaps I should!

      • Josh Ingram August 12, 2012 at 12:55 am #

        Do it! That’s all I can say. I’m having a blast. And as far as a wake up call (come to think of it, I do wake up early)? I’d consider it that but also more of a reward. The song that got me started way back when is called ‘Marathon’ (duh) by Rush. So good! Blessings!

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